The Ex-factor – beware of the bunny boiler

Nearly all of us have stories about mental exes. For the majority of us though, they rarely go further than drunken voicemail messages or texts.

So, take a moment to imagine how you’d feel if your ex sold your Lotus Esprit on Ebay for a ‘Buy It Now’ price of 50p and arranged for it to be picked up before you arrived home from work (to a house with changed locks). This is what happened to an unfortunate radio presenter who decided it was a good idea to talk about other women he fancied on his radio show. In a candid interview with Jodie Marsh, he confessed that she was his ‘ultimate fantasy woman’ and he would ‘leave his wife and kids for her any day.’ What he didn’t realise was that his (soon to be ex)wife was listening to the show and that his prized Lotus Esprit was only a few clicks away from being someone else’s Ebay bargain!

Without doubt, most women would be furious to hear that their partners preferred Jodie Marsh, but surely selling his car is going miles too far? On top of this, it does make me wonder what would have happened if her hubby admitted to having a weakness for Susan Boyle.

This story and similar shockers were discovered after a spot of channel flicking the other evening, where I came across a fascinating, yet frightening programme about Britain’s worst ever bunny boilers. For those of you who are wondering where the phrase ‘bunny boiler’ comes from, it originates from a scene in the film Fatal Attraction, where a scorned woman took revenge on her ex by introducing his daughter’s bunny rabbit to the saucepan. These days, it’s a term used by men to refer to their crazy exes who cannot cope with rejection, so take their anger and acts of revenge a step too far.

Now boys, before you start thinking that ‘bunny boiler’ is a term reserved exclusively for women, I have news for you…male bunny boilers DO exist and can be just as frightening.

One example is the story of a man named Jeff who met his girlfriend on a dating site and thought it was true love. When she dumped him a few months later, he simply couldn’t accept the rejection and started to hatch a plan of revenge. He decided to make posters which featured topless pictures of his ex-girlfriend, advertising her as a prostitute, with the caption ‘Man wanted, doesn’t matter what you look like, any age 18-80, as long as you can pay.’ The posters had her home address at the bottom and in one night, five men turned up asking if ‘Randy Mandy’ was at the house. Luckily for his ex-girlfriend, the police caught him out and he was sentenced to eight months in prison. So if any of you are thinking of plotting acts of revenge on your ex, think again because there could be serious repercussions!

For those of you panicking at these stories and wondering whether your girlfriend/boyfriend could turn out to be a bunny boiler, there are a few things that you might want to watch out for…

1) Non-stop calling/texting to find out who you’re with – 50 missed calls really isn’t normal. If s/he needs to know where you are 24 hours a day, to such an extent that you think a tracking device could be a desirable Christmas present, it may be time to have a chat.
2) If s/he doesn’t like you spending any time with you friends/has no friends – you may want to question why…
3) If you notice him/her taking photos of your car/musical instrument/phone/any other prized possession – panic and check Ebay asap!
4) And finally…the shrine to you in his/her bedroom should be a bit of a giveaway…

Now, I leave you with one final famous bunny boiler story that hit the headlines, about a woman named Lady Sarah Moon. Upon finding out that her husband had been playing away from home with a younger woman, she immediately started to plot her revenge. She cut off the sleeves of 32 of his Savile Row suits, before chucking a can of white paint all over his BMW and focusing her attention on his vintage wine collection. In the middle of the night, she transformed into a vintage-wine milkman and deposited his entire collection on the doorsteps of her neighbours (which included bottles worth up to £300). It’s safe to say it wasn’t a cheap affair that he had!

So there you have it, if you ever thought your ex was bad, it could be a lot worse…